Bernie Scolaro is a retired school counselor, a past president of the Sioux City Education Association, and former Sioux City school board member.

When I first came to Sioux City, Iowa for my job interview in 1984, I was struck by the Midwest work ethic and down-to-earth locals. I was told how you are a great place to raise a family and to receive a first-in-the-nation education. 

I was truly excited for my new adventure, but like in some relationships, over time, you have deceived me and let me down. You are no longer the Iowa I fell in love with. You are no longer “a place to grow,” where I can thrive in the current polarizing environment. 

As a school counselor and teacher union member, I watched the late-night vote as you gutted our collective bargaining rights in 2017. I tried to fight back and warn others of the harm. After all, victims need to hear other victims’ stories.  So, my friend and colleague, Dr. Amy DeGroot-Hammer and I presented at the NEA Leadership Summit in Chicago, sharing 25 ways to protect and prepare teachers in the other states following suit to take away workers’ rights.

You lied to me when you said, “Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain.” Like a battered wife, I kept thinking maybe you didn’t mean to do what you were doing. Maybe I just needed to speak up more and everything would be alright. 

So, when I retired, I ran for the Sioux City School Board, still thinking I could help change you back to who you used to be. It didn’t happen. I watched you take money from our struggling public schools to give to private schools. I let it go, and stayed in this relationship, knowing it could be worse. I watched you disrespect our teachers by trying to dictate what they can and cannot teach, and what books they can or cannot read. I stayed. I fought back, but it didn’t stop you.

I kept hoping. But when the dysfunction affects the children too, you have pushed it too far.

You set your abusive sights on our most vulnerable children, our trans, our LGBTQ, and our immigrants. You showed no parental concern or empathy about what happens to them, like you forgot the most basic values that drew me to you. 

I can no longer thrive or grow under your suffocating control. I needed to break free of this toxic relationship, where rights and freedoms are denied for political clout and power.

I pray for those who stay in their relationship with you, that they stay strong, united and keep the faith. I will always support and root for them. I know they will continue the fight, and I trust in their ability to do so.

I am not abandoning the fight. I will keep pushing back and standing up. You will still hear my voice, gasping for air as I continue to speak my truths. But I will be elsewhere—where the motto reads, “While I breathe, I hope.”