So I was catching up with the blog of a “crunchy conservative” mom I know in Des Moines, and I read this post describing a recent exchange on Dr. Laura’s radio show. (She often listens to right-wing radio while she makes cloth diapers and baby carriers for her home-based business.)
Dad calls in. Son is 3. Likes to play with his train set. Dad is “not into that.” Dad is not sure if he should suck it up and spend time with his son playing trains.
What kind of loser is too selfish to spend a little time playing trains with his three-year-old? Not only that, he seeks permission from an outside authority on whether it’s ok to refuse to play trains with his kid.
What does Dr. Laura advise?
Dr Laura says, he’s the dad. he is the parent. he is the head of his household. the kid does what he says. the kid can do something dad likes.
Great idea! Teach that kid who’s the boss. Except that the lesson the kid will probably learn is that his dad doesn’t enjoy doing things with him and doesn’t care about what’s important to him.
As Mr. desmoinesdem observed, the same dad will probably call Dr. Laura 13 years from now wondering why his sullen teenager never wants to talk to him or hang out with him.
To her credit, crunchy conservative Des Moines mom was as horrified by Dr. Laura’s advice as I was.
But it’s pretty sad when a leading voice of conservative talk radio advocates a power play like that with a young child. Would it kill this father to spend a little time doing something his son loves?
Being a parent doesn’t mean you let your children call the shots, but if your kid is really into trains or Legos or Play-doh or puzzles or whatever, don’t deny him or her the pleasure of sharing that with you.
If anyone is seeking parenting advice, I’d stick with the Sears family or Marguerite Kelly.
5 Comments
What would she have said if the Dad said...
that he likes to go to the bar, or watch porn, or smoke pot?
noneed4thneed Wed 11 Jun 10:17 PM
good point!
I wasn’t thinking about it from that angle.
desmoinesdem Thu 12 Jun 8:30 AM
Of course I was horrified!
Though she has taken similar calls in the past and taken the kid’s side. That’s my biggest prob with Dr Laura, no real consistency. I mostly listen to her because she gives me something to stew about while I sew!
Do you really think she’s a leading voice in conservative talk radio? I never really considered her as such.
I think it’s a shame that more political conservatives aren’t gentle parents…but there’s a surprising number of us who are. I’m often the recipient of “another Republican AP in Des Moines? no way!” emails. (I think because there’s so much conservative-bashing that goes on during the social times of most of the gentle parenting groups around here, the assumption is that everyone else is a liberal.)
But anyway, you are right. It won’t take long for the kid to realize that dad doesn’t like doing things with him, or that the only way to get dad’s attention is to do what dad wants.
(sarahtar, author of the above-quoted post)
and, hi to desmoinesdem!
sarahtar Thu 12 Jun 9:59 AM
perhaps "leading" was a bit too strong
because she certainly doesn’t have as large a following as Rush or some others.
But she is nationally a household name, so I think that counts as “leading voice.”
Good for you for promoting gentle parenting among conservatives!
desmoinesdem Thu 12 Jun 10:27 AM
subject
I beleive selfishness to be one of the biggest problems if not the bigest in society today. We run away from sacrifice, to spend a small amount of time with a young child no matter what the activity is precious time.
nate Thu 12 Jun 10:17 PM