Jason Benell lives in Des Moines with his wife and two children. He is a combat veteran, former city council candidate, and president of Iowa Atheists and Freethinkers. A version of this essay first appeared on his Substack newsletter, The Odd Man Out.

Recently we have seen an onslaught of awful behavior and policy from the Republican majority, not only at the Iowa statehouse but nationally. In each case the Republicans have acted deplorably, while Democrats seem to think that the proper way to respond to deplorable behavior is to adjust their monocle, straighten their suit jackets, and have a respectable and demure silent protest before tut tutting on the drive home. 

Now, I am not one for immediately going from zero to pissed in a counterproductive way, but I am also not one to say, “When they go low, we tuck our tails and do nothing.” The way you deal with bullies isn’t to immediately cave and cede the entire ground to them, but to stand up and make them do the bad things they threaten to do. You don’t comply in advance. If you stand up, you have a chance to stop them.

Democrats appear to be caving in many arenas. If they are working on some master plan, four-dimensional chess, or massive organizing initiatives, it isn’t getting through to the folks who are counting on them to preserve democracy. Regardless of how you feel about the party as a function, on paper Democrats are supposed to stand for labor, for the citizen, for democracy, for fairness and equality under the law.

Nowadays they seem to care more about appearing a certain way than addressing what their opposition is doing.

Consider some recent Republican behavior, compared to the response from Democrats. Iowa Republicans recently enacted legislation that removed gender identity from the Iowa Civil Rights code. While activists and experts as well as trans people gave passionate speeches citing data and experiences to oppose the bill, Republicans laughed and played bingo. Democratic State Senator Molly Donahue shared a picture of their “bingo card” on Facebook on February 27, the day the chamber debated the discriminatory bill.

Democrats try to avoid any perception of conflict of interest, while Republicans openly collude with foreign and domestic influencers and flaunt any semblance of ethical behavior. We see this locally with the Polk County supervisors; Republican members will happily take two salaries and two pensions, continuing their other full-time jobs while they serve as public officials. The Democrats divested themselves right away.

At President Joe Biden’s final State of the Union address in 2024, several Republican members of Congress interrupted the speech with foul language and boorish behavior. They got their few minutes of fame and were politely asked to chill out.

While President Donald Trump addressed Congress last week, one Democrat stood up and had an outburst. U.S. Representative Al Green was removed by the sergeant at arms for less severe behavior than what Republicans did last year. He was later censured—with ten members of his own party supporting the censure motion no less!

Al Green standing on business, not sitting on respectability politics. (screenshot from C-SPAN video of Trump’s address)

At least Green felt something about the lies the president was spewing about his fellow citizens and plans to harm the most vulnerable Americans.

Democrats do not seem to understand that decorum is only useful if it’s universally accepted and agreed upon. As an agreed-upon value, it can be conducive to reasoned debate and fact-based discussions. Decorum is what allows democracy and peaceful transfers of power to exist. It is not an empty value, nor is it a useless aspiration.

But when it is not an agreed-upon value, but a tool to be used by a dishonest interlocutor to undercut their opponents, it becomes a horrible impediment to discussion. It’s like going into a boxing match where only one side believes in non-weighted and regulation gloves. Sure, it will appear to the uninformed viewer that both are boxing fairly, but one is going to have a lot easier time of it.

Republicans have made it abundantly clear that they do not value decorum as a way to facilitate an honest exchange of ideas. Republicans value decorum as a tool to undermine open discussion and destroy any semblance of truth or consistency.

To be sure, this can be a useful tactic. Opponents with legitimate critiques can be removed from engagement if decorum is broken. By the same token, decorum can be a way to protect bad actors, because it would be “unbecoming” to accurately describe the results of bad policy.  

These are not new ideas that have just come up along with recent Republican proposals across the country. The Nazi’s specifically wrote about abusing this tactic to get their way in the Reichstag: “The big joke on democracy is that it gives its mortal enemies the tools to its own destruction,” Joseph Goebbels said when describing the best way to undermine democracy. He was speaking of the need for decorum and cultural norms of allowing awful policy to be accepted so long as it was delivered “respectably.”

You see, they aren’t taking civil rights away from trans folks, they are “protecting women.” Oh no, they aren’t defunding Medicaid, they are “creating efficiencies.” And they are certainly not against letting people vote; they just want “election security.”

The strategy wasn’t about convincing everyone to agree with the Nazi agenda, just as the Republicans are not about persuading most Americans to support their agenda. It’s about convincing their opponents that decorum is the only thing protecting them from destruction or public shame, which has the effect of freezing them into inaction. If they get their opposition to stand on decorum and not on business, it’s a hell of a lot easier to erode folks’ rights and normalize unilateral action.

The moderate Germans of the 1920s had the excuse of underestimating their opponents and with limitations of technology of the time. The Democrats of the 2020s do not have such an excuse.

I am not saying Democrats need to become the pants-poopers that Republicans so often turn in to when faced with public pushback, ethical accountability, or basic scientific inquiry. But they should try doing something. They should be shouting to the sky about the harms being done to federal workers and the continuity of government. 

Why not schedule public meetings, not with just constituents in town halls, but with our foreign allies, showing a commitment by the minority party to stand by American values? Instead of silently sitting at a presidential address to Congress, why not leave or face away from the liar in chief when this occurs. The public knows this isn’t normal, but all your behavior indicates that you think it is normal.

Democrats should be eschewing the old politics of the honest opposition. For one thing, “normal decorum” is what got us here. Second, there is no such thing as an honest opposition to democracy or a functioning federal government. The fact that any Democrat voted for some of the least qualified candidates for Trump’s cabinet is a damning indictment of how absolutely lost these decorum-crats are.

Children in west Texas and beyond are dying of preventable diseases, millions of Americans are at risk of losing their health care access, the FBI is being weaponized openly against perceived political enemies, and the United States is literally joining up with the 21^st century axis powers very loudly and very publicly to secure a kleptocracy for the ruling class and their foreign benefactors. Do we get we get angry Democrats rallying around science communicators and historians, or flooding the airwaves with data and empathy and passion?

No, we get fundraising emails reminding us that there are some “good billionaires” out there, and gee golly shucks if we just put our hair just right, follow the rules, and say the right words (and throw our trans neighbors under the bus) well you know, we might get a seat in the house next time.

Stop being decorum-crats. You’re the opposition party, with a mandate from your constituents to oppose fascism infesting the seats of power both at home and nationally. Do not be complicit in your own destruction.

Act like it, or you won’t be around to ask the where you went wrong when you had a chance to stop it.