Tanya Keith is an activist and small business owner in Des Moines.
I got a text from my oldest, who is currently in college in Massachusetts, asking me to go stand up for trans rights as the state capitol this week. Republicans in the Iowa legislature have proposed through House File 583 and Senate File 418 to strip trans and non-binary people of their civil rights. I wanted to go for my own reasons, but my child asking me to go made it an essential errand for me.
I’m a Gen X woman married to a man raising kids in Iowa, so you might think I don’t have much interest in trans rights. My generation was raised with pretty restrictive views of gender, but we did have our own language for acknowledging gender fluidity long before I ever chanted “trans rights are human rights.” I was a “tomboy” growing up, and I work in construction and I write about soccer, not exactly female-dominated fields. My interest in defeating these bills starts with myself.
When I testified on February 25 in front of the Senate subcommittee, I started by pointing out that this bill makes life more difficult for every Iowan without a crystal clear gender expression. I cracked a joke about how I have to delicately balance my gender expression at Menards: I have to be masc(uline) enough that men do not incessantly offer to help me, but femme enough to use the ladies room. It’s funny because it’s true.
I also testified about my experience as a business owner trying to grow a national-level brand in historic preservation education in Iowa. I restore historic buildings, and I love to teach people how to properly care for historic structures. My dream is that Iowa becomes known as a place where people come from all over the United States to learn these sought-after trade skills.
But when I talk to people in my profession about hosting events in Iowa, I get very reasonable push back that Iowa is not queer-welcoming. When we make news about legislating hate, it hurts Iowa businesses.
I talked about my experiences as an actual woman in sports. It makes my blood boil to hear old white men talk about doing their “duty” to protect women in sports. Yeah, freaking right. When I certified to referee soccer in 1993, approximately 18 percent of officials were female. That number is essentially unchanged today. I am 100 percent here for a real conversation about expanding opportunities for women and girls in sports, but this legislation is not that.
But the thing I only briefly touched on in my testimony was the fact that my oldest child, my first born, the delightful human that made me a parent, has fallen in love with a trans woman. As I sat through the pro and con testimony in the hearing room, I kept a photo we took on her visit to Iowa of me, my husband, our oldest and their trans girlfriend. As I listened to testimony from people who clearly have no idea what trans people are like, I wanted to keep Pearl (not her real name) at the top of my mind.
I have never met a more beautiful soul than Pearl. She is sweet and funny and so lovely. When she came to our house of absolute chaos, she said, “Oh my gosh, everywhere you look there’s an adorable cat!” (We foster failed with a pregnant cat…it was a four cat failure.)
I don’t think it was the magic of seeing my child in love with a person, I think it was charm of sitting at my dinner table every night with someone who has had to get to know herself so well that she was able to completely rebirth herself into the person that she was absolutely meant to be. The knowledge she gained in that process allows her to see others in a way that is disarming and enchanting. She wrote a song about our kid that showed me she understands our child perhaps better than we do.
Pearl is a phenomenal bartender and storyteller. She is funny and talented and none of the things the pro side has been talking about this week. None of the trans people I know are. They are just human beings, trying to live their most authentic life.
And honestly, it is not that hard to talk to kids about it. Our youngest is nine years old, and when I told them about what I did today, I explained that some people are scared about what happens if Pearl goes to the bathroom with you in the ladies room. I said, “Isn’t that ridiculous? Don’t they know girls bathrooms have stalls?” Kiddo thought this was very funny, but it’s not a joke. We’re making problems where none exist, and we’re denying the very real problems of gender inequality.
Women do not need protection from trans people. We need protection from predators and discrimination and unequal pay and lack of access of leadership positions and cancer-causing agricultural runoff and so much more. But taking civil rights away from trans people will not solve any of those problems. It will only make Iowa less welcoming to the people who make life worth living here.
Full video of Iowa Senate subcommittee, courtesy of One Iowa (which recorded the meeting remotely). Tanya Keith’s testimony begins around the 37:20 mark.
Photo by Tanya Keith looking down from the second level on protesters at the state capitol:
