For many Americans who (like me) have not served in the military, the three-day weekend at the end of May marks the unofficial beginning of summer activities. Forgetting the original purpose of this day is itself a long tradition, University of Oregon American history professor Matthew Dennis told NPR two years ago: “In 1888, even before it was declared a national holiday, President Grover Cleveland was criticized for going fishing on Memorial Day instead of, you know, visiting graves or participating in other sorts of rites.”
Lately some veterans have been raising awareness that Memorial Day differs from Veterans Day, the national holiday established after World War I to honor all who have done military service.
First known as Decoration Day, a day of remembrance for those who died in the Civil War has been celebrated since May 30, 1868–a date chosen “because it wasn’t the anniversary of any particular [Civil War] battle.” Decoration Day spread quickly in the North, while states in the South “continued to honor their dead on separate days until after World War I.” May 30 was designated as Memorial Day until 1971, when the official national holiday was moved to the last Monday in May.
NPR’s James Doubek cautioned yesterday that Memorial Day and Veterans Day “serve different purposes”:
“On Memorial Day, the veteran you’re talking to may be going through a bit of melancholy remembering people who died over the years,” says Navy veteran Luke Visconti, who also co-founded the website DiversityInc, which wrote about the subject recently. […]
Visconti encourages those who want to say supportive words to a veteran to recognize “that the person may have friends who died in combat.”
As far as saying thank you goes, “I don’t need to be thanked for my service,” he tells NPR’s Michel Martin. “I think it’s become kind of a platitude, toss-away thing to say.”
Chris Wilson of DiversityInc commented in that original post,
Rather than approaching your veterans and saying, “Thank you for your service,” “Is this a difficult weekend for you?” or “How many friends did you lose on your deployments?” Chris suggests saying something along the lines of:
“Enjoy your weekend, but I want you to know that I will be remembering what this holiday is about.”
“Enjoy your weekend, and I will be thinking about those that are no longer with us.”
“I will be taking a moment this weekend to honor those that served our nation and are no longer with us.”
A team of authors at Daily Kos still regularly publish “I Got the News Today” diaries, commemorating Americans who died in combat missions (most often Iraq or Afghanistan). In today’s edition, noweasels told the story of Staff Sgt. Kimberly Voelz, who was killed while trying to disarm an explosive in Iraq in 2003.
Last year, the Legislative Services Agency produced this map to show where Iowans have died during wartime service during the past 50 years.
Memorial Day can be a triggering event for veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder. Here’s more information on PTSD and a fact sheet about the condition.
The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs website notes, “All VA Medical Centers offer PTSD treatment, even if there is no specific PTSD program. Contact your local VA Medical Center and ask for the Mental Health clinic. Many Vet Centers and VA Community Based Outpatient Clinics also offer PTSD treatment.” In Iowa, targeted PTSD programs are available at the VA clinics in Iowa City and Des Moines.
Unfortunately, veterans seeking help through the VA often confront long wait times or other barriers to treatment, sometimes with deadly consequences.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness has compiled links to resources and programs for “military service members and veterans who have experienced a mental health condition, such as PTSD or depression.”
Other support groups geared toward people recovering from trauma or PTSD (not only veterans) may be helpful as well.