A new Iowa Domestic Violence Helpline started taking calls today, MacKenzie Elmer reported for the Des Moines Register.
Survivors from any corner of the state can call the free and confidential number, 800-770-1650, to reach one of fifteen staff members who are trained to handle everything from crisis situations to counseling. […]
Before the hotline, survivors called either law enforcement or their local advocacy program. Though most programs have someone ready to answer the local crisis line 24/7, some survivors’ calls may have gone unanswered.
Local programs and advocates can now forward those calls to the hotline, where an expert can direct that survivor to the services he or she needs. […]
The statewide hotline should also provide a greater level of anonymity for survivors, [Iowa Attorney General’s Office crime victim assistance division director Janelle] Melohn said, since those living in rural areas may be hesitant to call their local program for fear that the person on the other line will recognize them.
The helpline’s launch coincides with the start of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which grew out of efforts during the 1980s to “connect advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children.” In that spirit, I enclose below twelve links to resources for people who have been or are currently threatened by domestic violence, or care about someone in an abusive relationship.
Helpguide.org describes controlling behavior and other hallmarks of an abusive relationship. Click through for a checklist of specific questions designed to uncover signs of abuse. The main points:
Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and alone. […]
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner-constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up-chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.
This essay by Evan Stark explains the “coercive control” model of abusive behavior as a way of understanding domestic violence.
The easiest way to understand coercive control is to contrast it to the widespread equation of partner abuse with “domestic violence.” Domestic violence laws and most research in the field take an incident-specific focus and weigh the severity of abuse by the level of force used or injury inflicted what I call a “calculus of harms.” In marked contrast, the coercive control model relies on evidence that most battered women who seek help experience coercion as “ongoing” rather than as merely “repeated” and that the main marker of these assaults is their frequency or even their “routine” nature rather than their severity, a fact that gives abuse a “cumulative” effect found in no other assault crime. Physical harm and psychological trauma remain important in the coercive control model. But its theory of harms replaces the violation of physical integrity with an emphasis on violations of “liberty” that entail the deprivation of rights and resources essential to personhood and citizenship. In this view, the psychological language of victimization and dependence is replaced by the political language of domination, resistance, and subordination. In the coercive control model, what men do to women is less important than what they prevent women from doing for themselves. […]
Coercive control shares general elements with other capture or course-of-conduct crimes such as kidnapping, stalking, and harassment, including the facts that it is ongoing and its perpetrators use various means to hurt, humiliate, intimidate, exploit, isolate, and dominate their victims. Like hostages, victims of coercive control are frequently deprived of money, food, access to communication or transportation, and other survival resources even as they are cut off from family, friends, and other supports through the process of “isolation.” […] A main means men use to establish control is the microregulation of everyday behaviors associated with stereotypic female roles, such as how women dress, cook, clean, socialize, care for their children, or perform sexually.
Some mental health conditions are strongly correlated with emotionally or physically abusive behavior. The BPD Central website is an excellent resource for people in a relationship with someone who has either borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder.
The Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers advice for victims here and links to shelters and local service organizations in many communities, as well as “culturally specific resources” aimed at deaf, Latino, African American, Native American, or religious people facing abuse.
Domestic violence case workers are trained to help abuse victims develop a plan for escaping from a dangerous environment. This page of the HelpGuide.org site offers general advice on planning to leave an abusive relationship, including phone and internet safety tips.
Project Sanctuary, an advocacy group seeking to prevent domestic violence and sexual assault, offers internet safety advice here, explaining how an abuser can track e-mail activity and how abuse victims can erase cache files on web browsers. But the page warns:
Taking all of the actions on this page may not prevent an abuser from discovering your email and Internet activity. The safest way to find information on the Internet is to go to a safer computer. Some suggestions would be your local library, a friend’s house or your workplace. Other safety suggestions: Change your password often, do not pick obvious words or numbers for your password, and make sure to include a combination of letters and numbers for your password.
Controlling behavior often continues long after a victim of domestic violence has left a relationship. The Liz Library has compiled numerous links here related to child abuse and domestic violence, including how abusers can sometimes manipulate custody evaluators.
The city of Portland, Oregon’s police department compiled a helpful list of “eight ways to support a domestic violence victims.” The page reminds concerned friends and relatives, “It often takes seven attempts for a victim to leave a relationship. […] Don’t give up.”
The Iowa Judicial Branch website has compiled resources for the public including,
an outline of Iowa civil and criminal laws concerning domestic violence, telephone numbers for domestic violence hotlines, forms to help you start a civil court procedure to obtain a protective or no contact order, and a handbook full of information about how to protect yourself against domestic violence as well as directories of community domestic violence programs and legal aid offices.
Attorneys working on cases involving domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking can find information and guidance in this section of the American Bar Association’s website.
Women anywhere in the country can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
Iowans who feel more comfortable calling a local resource rather than the new statewide helpline (1-800-770-1650) can find help nearby through the Children & Families of Iowa site. This page lists more than two dozen local crisis lines where people can reach domestic violence advocates in their communities.
CHILDREN & FAMILIES OF IOWA
Local Crisis Line
(515) 243-6147Adel
(800) 440-4884Adel Toll-Free Spanish
(800) 550-0004Ames
(800) 303-3488Atlantic
(800) 969-5123Burlington
(800) 693-1399Cedar Rapids
(800) 208-0388Clinton
(800) 381-9319Council Bluffs
(888) 612-0266Creston
(888) 782-6632Davenport (Iowa)
(563) 326-9191Decorah
(800) 383-2988Des Moines
(800) 942-0333Dubuque
(888) 332-5899Fort Dodge
(888) 356-2006Grundy Center
(888) 746-4673Iowa City
(800) 373-1043Keokuk
(800) 498-5095Marshalltown
(800) 779-3512Mason City
(800) 479-9071Muscatine
(563) 263-8080Oskaloosa
(800) 270-1620Ottumwa
(800) 464-8340Sioux Center
(local area codes only)
(800) 382-5603Sioux City
(Iowa, Nebraska, S. Dakota)
(800) 982-7233Spencer
(877) 362-4612Waverly
(800) 410-SAFEDIAA (Deaf Iowans Against Abuse)
Toll Free TTY:(877) 244-0875Relay Crisis Line
(877) 385-9011
Cell to Cell Text: (515) 770-3063L.U.N.A. (Latinas Unidas Por Un Nuevo Amanecer)
(866) 256-7668
UPDATE: This October 2014 article in the Iowa State Daily discusses a new curriculum developed by ISU Assistant Professor Amie Zarling for the Iowa Department of Corrections.
This program, called Achieving Change through Value Based-Behavior, has been five years in the making. The program focuses on teaching men skills to adapt their violent behaviors, rather than shaming the men for their past. Comparing the old program to the new, the rate of a second [domestic violence] offense dropped from 35 percent to around 15 percent.
Zarling worked closely alongside Anne Brown, project coordinator at the Iowa Department of Corrections, to replace the old program, called “Duluth.” […]
Brown said she is extremely pleased with the outcome of ACTV and is excited to see new research proving it to be more effective than Duluth. She said she is enthusiastic about the partnership with Zarling and Iowa State.
“We’ve found all kinds of studies that have shown that Duluth is ineffective,” Brown said.
Despite the program’s annual cost of $1 million, recidivism rates were not dropping.
“The new program is more focused on being compassionate, not excusing the violent behavior, but recognizing that being compassionate and being on the same page as them helps them change,” Zarling said. “It’s not about talking down to them, but collaborating with them to get behaviors that are more healthy.”
The program focuses on four skills – behavioral patterns, emotional skills, cognitive skills and values.
The program lasts 24 weeks and consists of two facilitators working with groups ranging from five to 20 men. Each session last for approximately 90 minutes.