With all the excitement over what looks like a probable democrat take-over of the White House (regardless of who the nominee is), and the tantalizing possibility of Democratic control of two branches of government, I wanted to take the time to highlight a few people who I think are the biggest threats to that dream. The worst part? They're all people you know.

Public Enemy #1: The Attack E-mailer

    If Dick Cheney and Darth Vader were to have a baby, their spawn would not even begin to approach the level of evil lurking in the Attack E-mailer's heart. Distorting positions, spreading half-truths and fabricating outright lies is the Attack E-mailer's trade. Already they've managed to circulate the following gems: Obama is a radical Muslim, Obama is unpatriotic, Obama is a racist, Hillary and Obama are socialists, Hillary hates the troops, Hillary is a murderer, and so on and so on. They rely on sadly gullible people, people you know, to unwittingly forward their poison and spread their rumors at home and at the office.

Last Seen: Forwarding a video of a paragliding accident to everyone in your office.

Weakness: Reason.

Public Enemy #2: The Sore Loser

 

    The Sore Loser is not a bad person. They're just misguided.  The Sore Loser is the person who talks so grandly about “party unity” during the primaries, but immediately turns into a Republican when their candidate doesn't get the nomination. They're all good and worthy candidates, but only one will win the nomination. It may not be the one you like the best, but it's better than the alternative. President Obama, President Clinton or President Edwards all sound a lot better than President McCain, President Romney or, God-forbid, President Huckabee.  Are you really willing to throw away having the White House, the Senate and the House all in Democratic hands just because of something Hillary said in Ft. Dodge? 

Last Seen: Grousing.

Weakness: Love

Public Enemy #3: The Armchair Economist

 

     Whenever the economy moves to the forefront of the campaign, the Armchair Economist swings into action. He'll tell you breathlessly about how the merits of the Flat Tax and why the Bush tax cuts are the best thing for America since Ronald Reagan invented jelly beans. He'll claim that Democrats will raise your taxes and ruin the economy. He'll tell the legend of Mitt Romney at Bear Stearns and how everyone would be better off without health insurance. He's full of disinformation and fuzzy math and usually can't be dissuaded of his ideas. However, it's important to stop his madness before it becomes contagious.

Last Seen: Tivo-ing Neil Cavuto.

Weakness: Reason, solid economic numbers

Public Enemy #4: The Holier Than Thou

    Every church, club and neighborhood has a Holier Than Thou. The Holier Than Thou will try to convince you that the Democrats are “absolutely immoral” because they support abortion and gay marriage. All the while, they'll completely look past the Republicans' support of the Iraq War, their refusal to provide health care and poverty assistance to millions of Americans, and their inaction during the genocide in Darfur. There is no reasoning with advanced cases of the Holier Than Thou, only damage control and the hope that maybe reason will crack open that closed mind before you crack open that open mouth.

Last Seen: Working a Huckabee phonebank while watching the 700 Club.

Weakness: Isolation